How to make friends

I was having a discussion with my friend Vince about making friendships at uni the other day. He had recently decided to go back to the very beginning of our wall posts on Facebook. "You let me say some terrible things to you Clancy. I mean, like, really horrific stuff and you just rolled with it." I had a look myself. They were pretty grim. I won't repost any of them here for fear of offending anyone/ my mum seeing but let's just say that I copied one of them onto his wall and he swiftly deleted it. Five years on and we now have a reputation to uphold on our social media accounts.

Vince had made himself known around the block quite quickly and I had bonded with his flat mate Mike over a drunken discussion of women and the Sunshine Underground in the first few weeks.

One night I was working on my first essay (that is to say I was drinking and smoking in front of my laptop) when I got a text from an unknown number. "What are you wearing? Love, Vince"
I thought for a minute, I could be one of two girls here.
"Lacy black lingerie and a sombrero" went my reply.
"Great, well put some clothes on you dirty slag and come up to Mike's room and watch Star Wars with us. Leave the sombrero on."
He is now one of my closest friends.

Clancy your soul is deep and mysterious. Much like your eyes. And your vagina

          -Chris Vincent, September 08