Ever
wanted an honest look into someone else's professional life? Well now, with a
certain amount of coaxing, bullying and trading in sexual favors, you can!
Right
from the horses mouth... (that's funny, you see, because she likes horses ...I
think I need a nap)
Industry:
PR
Title:
I get to
choose. Main determining factors are who I'm lying to with regards to my
importance on that day, or which part of the company I'm pretending to work
for. Both are my bosses attempt to "make the company sound better" -
Reassuring.
And
that means…
It means
I'm everything and nothing. It means if I left then the company would fall
apart...which actually says more about the company than it does about me.
How do
you get out of bed in the morning?
I have
employed a small sherpa type dude who pokes me from a distance with a very long
pokey stick. He had to sign an extensive insurance waiver prior to starting - I
tend to have a lot of wrath first thing in the morning so it was for his own
benefit.
What
do you get up to on a typical day?
Well, as
I'm filling in this form, clearly not a lot. When I'm not searching blog sites
under the premise of "Scouting for press" (what do you mean Justin
Beiber's new haircut isn't relevant?!) I'm generally shitting myself about one
social media post or another and praying no-one notices my incompetence.
Job
perks?
The fact
that I get to read FHM and Zoo as standard. Try bringing up the fact you spend
"all day staring at boobs" at a family dinner party. Priceless. Also,
I pass a nero on the way in - the free coffee I earn when I've drunk another 9
tastes like the best coffee in the world.
Job
nightmares?
Social
Media. My every mistake is witnessed by over 1 million people. Thankfully, I've
been worn down to the point where I have lost the ability to care.
Anything
else you’d like to say to the nice people on the Internet?
My job has
driven me to drink. That, and I secretly wish I was a penguin. This could be
the only way to restore my sanity. If you don't believe me watch Frozen
Planet...
